Okay now you are thinking one of three things. 1: Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker in Rush Hour 1, 2, or 3, whichever movie they sing that in; 2: Thank you so much. Now that song is stuck in my head. Don't worry. It has been in mine for about a week since I thought of this entry. It will leave eventually; or 3: After the last post, you a hater now Jen?
Chillax amigo! We cool! You know sometimes life is not just raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. You are welcome for that. No. Sometimes it is about bomb shelters. Say what? Yes, bomb shelters. See Switzerland has a law that all houses built after the 60's need to have a bomb shelter. Yes, you read correctly. No worries ma, calm down. Breathe... This is Switzerland! We love everybody, we are neutral. Live and let live. We won't bother you, you don't bother us. So why do they have bomb shelters then? Well for nuclear attacks of course. Ma, relax, breathe. Everything is fine.
"Every inhabitant must have a protected place that can be reached quickly from his place of residence" and "apartment block owners are required to construct and fit out shelters in all new dwellings", according to articles 45 and 46 of the Swiss Federal Law on Civil Protection.
Pretty cool, huh? No that is not ours. But there are some really neat ones. A friend of ours made hers into a spare bedroom for guests. Where's my bed, honey? Oh, it is in our bomb shelter...
There are enough bomb shelters in Switzerland to house ALL of its inhabitants. That's right. 7.6 million people. Why you ask? Well, they have been through WW1, WW2, and the Cold War. And maybe no one is going to invade Switzerland, but that does not stop nuclear fallout. Doctor Jen, please check my mother for a heart/anxiety attack. Thank you! And mama, put your head between your knees and breathe. Yes, these rooms have thick armored doors, ventilation systems, and anti-gas filters. Not that kind of gas, you sick pigs!
So Jen, where is your bomb shelter? Well. I am not exactly sure. What do you mean?! Doctor Jen, can you check ma's blood pressure now, please? See, my house was built in 1900-ish. Before everything went to Hell in a hand basket. So I don't exactly have one. It could be one of these two places.
I prefer the one with the wine storage even though it has a window. If I am going to go, might as well go out partying! Remind me to put a cork opener down there. That would be such a party foul. Only problem? Neither has a filtered ventilation system. Or a steel door. Or anti-gas filter... No honey, no beans tonight. We need to be in our bomb shelter...(to the Yellow Rose of Texas melody: We're gonna hunker in the bunker, and have some bunker stew!) Why thank you for these lovely gas masks as Christmas presents! That was so thoughtful of you... Personally, I would not want to use either. For any reason, let alone nuclear fallout! Well, okay the wine one is not so bad. But the one under the stairs? That is a spider condo for rent! No thank you! I will take my chances!
Wait, that's not a spider web, that's my cappuccino! Very delicious!
So no worries if you want to visit! We are prepared! Well, kinda.....
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