Smell Your Way Through The Day

The Wiggles have it right. Those smells are very yummy. I would love to sit here at this moment and say I can smell dinner cooking in the oven. But, nope. Can't do it. Point 1, I am not cooking anything as it is mid-day. Point 2, I am not going to cook tonight. I don't feel like it. That is the awesome thing about a husband and kids who love sandwiches. I rarely HAVE to cook if I don't want to. However, that is not what this is about.

So, when we lived in Brazil we lived next to the river Marginal Tiete. In high Summer it stunk to high Heaven. I mean, you could actually feel the smell running in between your teeth like you could chew it. Though I do not know what a burning pig farm would smell like, I would attribute the smell to that.

Onto to clean and lovely Switzerland. Switzerland is awesome! Truly. It creates the best chocolates in the world. What's not to love! And it has cows. Everywhere. I love cows. As I have said before, they are my spirit animal. I also love my boys. However, I do not like how either smells. Okay, so I am not up close and personal with cows. So how would I know if their stink is anywhere close to my boys' smell? Well let me tell you. So in Switzerland it is very difficult to find pesticides and herbicides and fertilizers, unless they are of the organic kind. Very Earth friendly the Swiss are. So Spring is here! Yey! Time to smells the flowers blooming and trees budding! Um well no. First, before any of that happens things need to be fertilized and fields need to be tilled. What that also means is the farmers are out fertilizing their fields to get ready for planting. So, Jen? Who cares? Well...

So this is how they fertilize fields. The farmers take all of the winter cow poo that has been hanging around in a big pile, dump it into haulers behind tractors, take the poo carts out into the fields, and use a GIANT spray gun to shoot it ALL OVER the fields. A. Giant. Poo. Gun. Like spray painting the field with poo. I am dead serious. I wish I took a picture of this because, well just because. This way of fertilizing is not a problem, except... That dried up old poo? It becomes poo dust and floats in the air. If you are lucky  it can coat you, your dog, your shoes, your car. So everything kinda smells like poo for a bit. Oh and it can also get lodged in your nose so all you smell is poo. I had to ask my husband repeatedly last night if I smelled like poo. Nope. Okay, good.

Oh, and FYI you can be going into your child's school for a meeting while chewing lovely peppermint gum and end up chewing cow poo Trident. Tasty!!

Doctor! Doctor!

So my children love me. So much so that when my husband goes out of town on business they try to garner my attention - by needing to go to the hospital.

My first foray in this was back almost a decade. Okay, I am exaggerating it was like almost 7. But that is closer to 10 than 1. So. My beautiful baby boy of 7 years decides to eat a lot of cheese. I mean a lot! This boy I think is actually made of cheese so it really was no big surprise. Until 2 am rolls around and he is up with tummy pains so bad he can't move. Me thinks it's appendicitis so after a call to the doc off we go. Luckily, I was staying with my fantastic in-laws at the time because we were in the process of moving to Brazil. They took care of my eldest while I spent the night in the ER. Everything was fine, but they did give him that yucky serum stuff to drink to look into his GI tract. Not good for a mom who has issues with puke. Because that is exactly what my child did while drinking that. Orangey-red mess all over the bed with me running from the room gagging.

The US is awesome when it comes to emergencies. 24 hour service available! There are even mini ER clinics available. I have been to these too. They are great, in and out within a half hour. I don't know about small town America. I have always lived within 5 miles of a major health system. I am very grateful of this. I imagine it is very scary when the nearest hospital is 20-50 miles away.  I do not think I could function, especially since I am a really neurotic person. Now onto Switzerland. Nothing is open after 6 pm here in my neck of the woods. (And I guess we are in small town Swiss?) Well that includes the ER. WHAT!! Wait. Be patient.

So my eldest (yes it was his turn) decided at 2 am (yes they like that time of night) to get out of bed too fast. He came out of his room and fainted, hit the wall and then the floor, which is where I found him. Now, I am not normally a light sleeper. But when my husband is gone I am. That is if I can fall asleep at any normal time. Plus I wear jammies when he is gone. Imagine walking out in my all together to check on my son. He would have had a heart attack! Or vomited all over the floor. Or his eyes would have fallen out. Whichever. Anyway, I heard the noise and chose to investigate and I find him in a ball on the floor outside his room. His bum and arm hurt from the landing. I help him up and he literally faints in my arms again. Straight back! Would have hit the floor if I did not help him down. Let me tell you. That scared the shit out of me. Literally! I am thinking while watching his eyes flutter back and he is not responding to me - OMG another faint? a seizure? diabetic issue though he is not? Heart condition? Dead serious stuff. I know people with these issues, my neuroses aside, so I am freaking out. He comes around and I get him to crawl into his bathroom and I run into mine. Yes, I told you I meant literally. So my issues over, I run and get him some juice and wake up my husband via cell to explain what happened and get support. Then I notice the eye. Eyelid split right across. Send a pic to my hubby, and he agrees that may need stitches. So hang up, wake my youngest to let him know what is happening, and head off to hospital ER. Which is 5 minutes from the house. Lucky me!

Okay. Where is ER parking? Does not exist? So park on street. One spot left. Where is the door? Oh here. Wait after hours door around corner. Okay head to that. Wait after hours phone next to door to send someone to open it. Okay pick it up. Wait, he is 15? You need to go to pediatrics on the third floor. Okay. Where is the elevator? Wait, no elevator. Okay 3 flights up we go. All while supporting my son. (Though he has had juice by this point to get his blood sugar? pressure? back in line. I gave that to him because in donating blood so often to be a galloneer they always gave me juice when I was lightheaded. Thank you Memorial Blood Centers for educating me!) Which is funny that I was supporting him. He is taller than I am and very muscley. The nurse did not believe me when I said he was 15.

An hour plus later we are heading back home with a taped eyelid. No stitches needed since it was a shallow cut. Neuro exam passed, heart check passed, blood pressure passed. All good. Hospital staff was very nice and polite and very patient because my French went out the window with the stress. Not a bad experience at all. I am very grateful for that.

If there is a next time, my husband better be home! Now I have to function today on maybe 3 hours sleep. No probs, I am a mom. I am just going to go mainline my Brazilian coffee now. A tout a l'heure!